| fixed |
[Dec. 28th, 2005|08:33 pm] |
well i guess randy and i are back together now. we still got some things to work on, but basically he said he has no idea what he was thinking. he doesn't want to be without me. he said he wasn't himself the last few days and i guess that's true. the randy i know would never act that way. it was wierd. he asked me so many times to forgive him...but i forgave him long before he even asked. i last saw him tuesday night but it was so awkward that i feel like i haven't seen him in months. i guess because first he was gone for a week, then he was even awkward when he got back. i can't wait to see him sunday.
yeah yeah, i realize all i talk about is him pretty much. but he means so much, and besides this, nothing else is happening. i gotta do somehting with Dave before he goes back to school, and dammit i meant to call Justin today since i haven't talked to him in forever. oops.
well, maybe i'll try now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2005|04:10 pm] |
ok, so i feel more hurt than i've ever felt in my life. randy and i are "on a break". he said he needs to focus on his grades and his job, which i can understand, but he's gonna be still doing through college, and it'll be even harder. whether he's dating me then or some other girl he'll still have to find time to balance all that and her. we're still boyfriend and girlfriend and our feelings for eachother haven't changed, but we're just gonna slow down a lot...give eachother space. or i'm gonna give him space, since i never needed any to begin with.
i'm seeing him tonight and it's gonna be a little weird to not be able to hold his hand or kiss him. we're just gonna be acting like friends. at least now i know why he's been acting so weird for the past week.
i cried so much last night. i had such a headache and my eyes stung so bad. it was hard to sleep, and at work today if i didn't have anything to do, my mind would start to wander to last night and i'd feel depressed and almost nauseous. i've spent my whole life looking for Randy..the perfect guy...and now this comes along. He still really thinks we'll end up together...but he feels like he has to do this. to sort out the rest of his life before continuing with me. i know i'd feel the same way....except that he is my life. |
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| christmas!! |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|07:49 pm] |
my dad finally got arrived here last night, so both my parents are back now. it's wierd having them in the house again since i'd gotten used to living for a few months without them. and christmas is this sunday and thank God i don't have to work saturday. i thought for sure they would make me work. blasted chick-fil-a. grr....
well...about 7 or 8 more months and i go off to college. i can't wait. i know i'm gonna get more piercings and a tattoo (which my dad will promptly slay me for), but i don't care. it's about time i got some freedom.
anywho....guess what? now i'm bored! Randy's at disneyworld, and won't get back till friday that dork. i don't even know if i'll get to see him saturday. he's called me a few times but i still feel pretty alone.
but in february Daniel's supposed to stay with me for a few days to visit. i won't be surprised if he can't make it though. it'll snow, or they'll cancel the flight, or his toaster will spontaneously combust spreading fire to the whole of his dorm hall, and he is forced to flee but in so doing rescues many a distressed person, thus saving the day. something like that. i know...occam's razor. simplest explanation is the most likely, but with daniel, i wouldn't be surprised. hahaha |
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| so confused |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|02:25 pm] |
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ok, i'm still trying to figure this damn thing out. tried to put pics on here, but they're all to big. i'm so pathetic. hahaha i'm still stuck in the 80s or something...i hate technology, computers are my mortal enemy. evryone's getting ipods and i'm excited about a new record player! (they really are awesome). i love having like a million cds that take up space rather than a handy little thing that fits them all in one. i'm such a dork. anyways, bakc ot waht i was saying, Mari, Maria or Gabs, if you guys feel pity for my inability to move foward into the 21st century, please tell me how the hell to get come pics on here!!! i'm tryingnt get thumbnails of pink floyd!! grrrr......this is so hard. i can't figure out anything. such a loser.....i'm gonna go cry now......*sniff sniff* |
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| so bored |
[Dec. 15th, 2005|06:00 pm] |
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finally got this thing...and no one's written me back yet as to what their username's are. so i'm lonely, and scared....hello?...hello? (*sobs quietly*) |
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